Advice from a friend

I received this message from a friend today.  I am feeling very depressed today because we said goodbye to our foster son yesterday.  This message is helping put things into perspective.

Mindi - I just wanted to let you know that I've been keeping up with your blog throughout your journey. I know each of us has our own battle, but I can honestly say "giving up" was the best thing we did. I know you've been trying for so much longer than us, but I didn't realize how much I was letting "BABY" ruin my marriage, my finances, my life. I was in such a tunnel vision trying to get this baby, that nothing else mattered. I was miserable, my husband and I were in a bad place, and it was taking over my entire brain! The moment we decided to "take a break" before signing up for full-fledged adoption, this weird weight came off my shoulders. I NOW realize how much time I wasted. Now that it's been a few years, we're traveling more, enjoying each others company, taking up new hobbies (we bought a bike!). I'm enjoying my life as it is today, not how I want it to be tomorrow. Sometimes I"m still sad, and I haven't completely given up hope, and it definitely took some time to feel comfortable with it... but it's been good. I say this because I don't want you to feel like "you're giving up," because you aren't. You've given so much time & effort, and have been an amazing driving force in so many people's lives. You can give in so many other ways, through work or volunteering, or animal rescue. Whatever. Instead of "giving up," you're choosing to live in the moment now; enjoy what you have and celebrate the little wins. I hope this reaches you well, and enjoy your trip to VT!