Doctors Appointment

Overheard at my doctor's, just a bit ago:

Me "Did you see my b/p?"
Doctor: "Well, at least you're still sitting upright"

My bp was 88/58. My HA1C is now at non-diabetic levels, 6.3. I have been taken off of all b/p meds immediately and have to go in (I can walk there) for regular b/p checks for a while. I have only lost 8 pounds since last time, but she seems to think that I am "wasting away". Lowered my one insulin, took the other insulin off my chart completely. Cholesterol is perfect. Only took two people and three sticks to draw blood this time and I have two fancy shmancy Snoopy bandaids to prove it!

And I have in hand a letter for Mark and a letter for me, from the doctor, for the adoption agency, stating that in all likelihood, we will both be alive for at least another 20 years to raise a child.  And I am cancer free!

Scared

Going to meet with adoption agency.....TOMORROW!!!

OMGOMGOMG

And another decision is made.....I think.

• So we have decided that we are going to pay the $3000 and get a home study completed. Jen, our friend who took the concert photos, is going to do our life book. We are also going to keep our foster care license with this county and just do respite. We also are going to start doing respite for medically fragile children through another organization. Our very first foster child was considered medically fragile. He was born at 28 weeks, weighed less than 3 pounds, was in the hospital for 4 months, had a cranio cap, had occupation physical and speech therapy, a couple operations, doctors appointments every week.....and he was a JOY to foster. We had him from 6 months to a year old and would have adopted him in a heartbeat.
• 
  

Food for Thought

How do you explain to people who say that if you're fundraising, you shouldn't adopt a child because you cannot afford to raise a child?  How do you make them understand that there are many fees attached to the adoption process that not everyone knows about?  Or that there's a tax write-off for adoption funds?  Or that you DO have the funds and home and heart to raise a child in a very nice home, to save money for their college fund, to take care of them....but you don't necessarily have the 10k to 50k+ upfront that could be needed for an adoption?

Received this message tonight on one of our fundraisers.  Not sure if I should waste my time and think about this some more....or not give it a second thought?

A message I received tonight on my GOFUNDME account.  Originally I deleted it.  But now I'm going to put it out there.  If you agree with her post, please let me know.

Dear Mindi,

Jeanette Jancee has posted a comment to your fund:

No, you are not ENTITLED to a baby. You are ESPECIALLY not entitled to SOMEBODY ELSE's baby! The fact that you're fundraising?? Tells me you CANNOT AFFORD A BABY. This business of claiming to be able to care for a kid but not pay the fees to adopt that kid? A TOTAL CROCK!! Do you know why women relinquish babies? Cuz they cannot afford to raise them!! Neither can YOU!

Sign-in to manage your comments: http://www.gofundme.com/

View your fund: http://www.gofundme.com/Help-Us-Be-A-Family

Thank you,

The GoFundMe Team

QON:

 What do you do what you want a child and your husband deserves a child and you find out it may never happen (or you may never have enough money to make it happen)? I know a lot of my friends don't have children and want them. Most are younger than me. If you were told that you would never have a forever child, how do you make that okay in your head?

What can you do

when every door of opportunity has been closed to you?

Not a good day.  Sad.

Do you know?

QOD: Where are you? Do you like where you are?  Do you think you'd be better off somewhere else?
 
Dᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ?
Dᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʟɪғᴇ ɪs sʜᴏᴡɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ
Wʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ?
Dᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ...?

Dᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴇᴛ
Wʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʜᴏᴘɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ
Wʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ
Tʜᴇʀᴇ's ɴᴏ ᴏᴘᴇɴ ᴅᴏᴏʀ
Wʜᴀᴛ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴏᴘɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ?
Dᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ...?

Oɴᴄᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴡᴇʀᴇ sᴛᴀɴᴅɪɴɢ sᴛɪʟʟ ɪɴ ᴛɪᴍᴇ
Cʜᴀsɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴀɴᴛᴀsɪᴇs
Tʜᴀᴛ ғɪʟʟᴇᴅ ᴏᴜʀ ᴍɪɴᴅs
Yᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴇᴡ ʜᴏᴡ I ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ
Bᴜᴛ ᴍʏ sᴘɪʀɪᴛ ᴡᴀs ғʀᴇᴇ
Lᴀᴜɢʜɪɴ' ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ǫᴜᴇsᴛɪᴏɴs
Tʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ᴀsᴋᴇᴅ ᴏғ ᴍᴇ

Dᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ?
Dᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʟɪғᴇ ɪs sʜᴏᴡɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ
Wʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ?
Dᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ...?

Nᴏᴡ ʟᴏᴏᴋɪɴɢ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ ᴡᴇ'ᴠᴇ ᴘʟᴀɴɴᴇᴅ
Wᴇ ʟᴇᴛ sᴏ ᴍᴀɴʏ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍs
Jᴜsᴛ sʟɪᴘ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴏᴜʀ ʜᴀɴᴅs
Wʜʏ ᴍᴜsᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴡᴀɪᴛ sᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ
Bᴇғᴏʀᴇ ᴡᴇ'ʟʟ sᴇᴇ
Hᴏᴡ sᴀᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀɴsᴡᴇʀs
Tᴏ ᴛʜᴏsᴇ ǫᴜᴇsᴛɪᴏɴs ᴄᴀɴ ʙᴇ

Dᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ?
Dᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʟɪғᴇ ɪs sʜᴏᴡɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ
Wʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ?
Dᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ...? 


Dᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴇᴛ
Wʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʜᴏᴘɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ
Wʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ
Tʜᴇʀᴇ's ɴᴏ ᴏᴘᴇɴ ᴅᴏᴏʀ
Wʜᴀᴛ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴏᴘɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ?
Dᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ...?

I am, I said

I am, without a doubt and unequivocally, a ditz.

Left store, put bags into car. Went to start car. Saw man asleep behind wheel of another car (a Cadillac SRX). Heard annoying car alarm and wondered why asleep man didn't wake up and shut it off. Got out of my car and went up to the other car (hey, at least I got to see the inside of one of the vehicles we're considering). Put hand on man's arm. Then realized that the alarm was coming from my car. Apologized for waking him. Shut my car alarm off.

Me

I posted this updated photo of myself yesterday on FB.  I had my hair chopped, colored and highlighted.  I think that the blonde came out a bit too brown, but other than that, I like it!  I have a long way to go in my weight loss journey (and a big skin removal surgery in the future), but I'm getting there!

Lingering

So it's been a week since the child left our home.  It's been two weeks since Robin Williams took his own life.  I have so much to look forward to in the next few weeks, and yet this overwhelming sadness has taken over my life.  I feel empty, useless, a failure.

And with that public exclamation, I am calling my therapist.

Again, no worries needed.  I'm a survivor.

And then

http://www.gofundme.com/Help-Us-Be-A-Family

This is what we consider to be our "last chance" at having a child in our lives. I just turned 46. I've lost three children and two years ago lost my bladder and uterus to cancer. We've fostered children for years and had four failed adoptions. Last chance adoption. If we can afford it.


My life reads like a soap opera. When I was 11, my sisters and I were hit by a car while waiting for the school bus. My little sister Kathy didn't survive. I was raised by a wonderful Mom and an abusive alcoholic Father. And then I married an abusive, drug addicted husband. Stayed with him for 12 years until I had the strength to leave.

In 2001, I met Mark, the most wonderful man ever. We married in 2003. In 2005, at the age of 37, Mark and I conceived our first child. In 2006, I gave birth to our son Daniel, too early for him to survive. Later that year, we lost our second child.

Fast forward to 2010 (time spent between 2006 and 2010 resulted in our becoming foster parents and having three failed adoptions). At the age of 42, I found out I was pregnant. Went for an ultrasound, where they found numerous tumors in my bladder. I lost the baby and started chemotherapy in Dec 2010.

In March 2011, I had my bladder surgically removed, along with my uterus....losing any chance of having our own baby. But, in the end, I was/am currently cancer-free. We named our third baby "Angel" for saving my life.

We became licensed as foster parents again, and had a 15 month old baby girl placed with us. On March 1, 2013, after living with us for over a year, baby girl was taken and given to an Aunt in another state. Failed adoption number 4.

Through all of this, my husband Mark has been the best friend, nurse, Father, husband, caretaker ever. He deserves to have a child. WE deserve to have a child. We've looked into adoption and have started the process, which could take years. Any financial help would be so appreciated!

It's so quiet around here!

Little man left on Friday.  No tears, no screaming, no big goodbye party....just a simple "okay love you bye".  We were too busy getting ready for, and going to, the concert that night to give it a lot of thought.  But now that's it's quiet around here once again, it's SO quiet!

Mark and I are enjoying the peace for the moment.  Not sure for how long before it's just too darned quiet.  Already packing for our trip.  Have airline seats assigned.  Found out that I can bring an extra bag just for my medical supplies (CPAP, bandages, catheters, medication), so we might not need a checked bag.  Although just one pair of Mark's shoes (size 13wide) would fill a carry-on bag.

Trying to decide what to do with the little man's nursery.  Am considering redoing it in a simple plain neutral color and donating all his train things. A lot of it went with him, but we still have the bedding and drapes, etc.  For now, keeping that door closed and letting it go until after our trip.

Heard from the special needs adoption agency.  The class we need to take is full for September, so it will be October before we can be complete with our training.  The social worker assigned to our case (YES!  We have our own social worker!) will be in touch this week or next to set up the first of many home visits to start the process.

And with that, I must go start cleaning!!

Mark and I

We may never have children.  In fact, it's looking like that's a very real possibility.  Just coming to grips with what that means.  We've run out of options.  Special Needs adoption was our last hope and we haven't heard back on our application.  Maybe soon, maybe not.  Our fostering plainly isn't the answer.  All it does is bring on more heartbreak.

It's so quiet in our house.

Advice from a friend

I received this message from a friend today.  I am feeling very depressed today because we said goodbye to our foster son yesterday.  This message is helping put things into perspective.

Mindi - I just wanted to let you know that I've been keeping up with your blog throughout your journey. I know each of us has our own battle, but I can honestly say "giving up" was the best thing we did. I know you've been trying for so much longer than us, but I didn't realize how much I was letting "BABY" ruin my marriage, my finances, my life. I was in such a tunnel vision trying to get this baby, that nothing else mattered. I was miserable, my husband and I were in a bad place, and it was taking over my entire brain! The moment we decided to "take a break" before signing up for full-fledged adoption, this weird weight came off my shoulders. I NOW realize how much time I wasted. Now that it's been a few years, we're traveling more, enjoying each others company, taking up new hobbies (we bought a bike!). I'm enjoying my life as it is today, not how I want it to be tomorrow. Sometimes I"m still sad, and I haven't completely given up hope, and it definitely took some time to feel comfortable with it... but it's been good. I say this because I don't want you to feel like "you're giving up," because you aren't. You've given so much time & effort, and have been an amazing driving force in so many people's lives. You can give in so many other ways, through work or volunteering, or animal rescue. Whatever. Instead of "giving up," you're choosing to live in the moment now; enjoy what you have and celebrate the little wins. I hope this reaches you well, and enjoy your trip to VT!

I find it interesting

I find it very interesting how quickly things, attitudes, relationships, can change.

Once someone has gotten everything they want out of you, it's quite disturbing how you are cast aside.

What is even more interesting is how well my memory works when it comes to these things.  I do not forget how I was treated badly.  And I will not be available for any questions or help because of the way I was treated.

You're on your own.  Good luck with that one!

Def Leppard and KISS

We went to see the show last night.  Got home at 2 AM.  This morning I feel like a truck ran me over.  And I may never hear properly again.  Wondering if I'm getting too old for this?

Amazing venue.  Awesome weather, absolutely perfect.  The show was great!

Thank goodness I don't drink anymore.....beer was $12 a can there.  Water was $6.00

Here are some very cool photos our friend Jen took!  We were ten rows from the stage!

Leanna Lorraine

I sent you a couple emails Leanna.  Please try to read them before the 5th of September!

Gene Simmons, you make me sad.

Very bad timing and very poor choice of sentiment.  Off to go see KISS and Def Leppard tonight.  Kind of wish my friend hadn't pointed this out to me.

https://tv.yahoo.com/news/gene-simmons-tells-depressed-people-f-k-kill-154600164.html

Tomorrow

Tomorrow we say goodbye to the little man.  He is going to leave us and be reunified with his Mother.  Although I can't control people's perceptions of Mark and I as parents, I can say that you don't know unless you've lived it.

We tried as best we could with him.  We loved him, and WILL love him, forever.  We had hoped that he would be our forever child.  And when we knew he was going home, we did what we could to make that the easiest transition possible.

We are going to try and make today the best day ever with little man.  A walk and a playtime in the park.  Dinner will be whatever he wants (barring things he can't eat, like sugar).  We want to make good memories and have him leave with good memories of his time with us.

We will miss him.  A lot.

Goodbye

No need to worry about me.  Death always hits me way too hard.  I just liked what this said.

Doing everything that I possibly can

Finding it hard to please everyone all the time.

Finding it depressing as hell to keep trying and get little or no appreciation for what I do.

Finding it difficult to figure out what more I can do to please people.

Finding it sad that me, just being me, isn't enough.

Finding myself so paranoid that no one likes me, no one wants to spend time with me.

Finding it sad that, just a day ago, I was so happy and excited to take this trip and now....eh.

Finding it very easy to just give up.

Why

No one is really owed an explanation as to why Mark and I gave our notice for baby boy to be moved, but we're going to give it to you, short and sweet, so that you know that we aren't horrible people.

In order for little man to get the help, the therapy, the evaluation that he needs (just our opinion), he needs to be living with his forever primary caregiver.  Mark and I are not that.  We are his foster home.  He will be going to live where he belongs, with family.  Once he's living there, he can have all the aforementioned studies done in order to help him lead a happier life.

And so, in letting him go as soon as we could, we are not giving him up.  We are giving him hope.

All in all, a great day!

Today started with the little man being in a GREAT mood!  He's off to a two-night visit with his Mom, back on Wednesday afternoon.  It's always nice to be able to say goodbye with a happy hug and kiss (and an "okay love you bye").  We played "red light, green light" outside this morning while waiting for his social worker.  It's a game his occupational therapist introduced to him, to help him learn how to regulate his feelings and emotions.  The yellow (or "lello") light trips him up sometimes....hard for a three-year-old to handle going slow!

Went for a 2.5 mile walk by myself after he left.  Walked past a woman walking two dogs at the 1 mile marker.  Had never met her before.  But since she had a huge black Newfoundland in one hand and a huger English Mastiff in the other, I had to ask if I could pet them.  I ended up in the nearby soccer field, with Ted and Frank, in my lap!

Went to the dentist this afternoon.  A new dentist has taken over for our retired dentist.  I like him.  He's a Democrat.  Our old dentist, who I will miss, was a Republican.  He used to make some really right-wing statements to me, always when I had some dental instrument in my mouth.  We had some good conversations.  I had no cavities!  Love when my teeth are clean.  Got an extra fluoride treatment today because of all the throwing up I've been doing since the surgery.  I guess it helps save the enamel?

Discovered that the protein bars we've been eating have fake sweetener in them.  Have been wondering for the last few weeks why I have a headache.....there ya go.  Need to find some with Stevia as a sweetener now.

SO excited to go back to Vermont.  Booked our new flights.  Booked our rental car.  Booked our hotel for two nights in Chester.  Ordered some new clothes, ordered some travel supplies.

Sad about Robin Williams.  Death always hits me hard.  If any of my friends are ever feeling depressed, please talk to someone.  Get on some medication.  It doesn't mean you're weak, it means that you're strong enough to know that you need help. And please make sure that you always tell the people that you love that you love them!!

Have a great night everyone!!

Almost there!

I have changed our flights to Friday instead of Sunday.  I have the car rental all set.  Now I just have to get the hotel set up!

I am SO excited!

Have I mentioned that I'm excited?

So Excited!!!

I love my husband!

I half-jokingly asked him today if we could fly to Vermont a few days early so that we could stay in my hometown for a couple days, see my old homes, schools, etc.  And he said YES!

I have already re-booked our flights so that now we're leaving on Sept 5 instead of Sept 7!!  I am about to re-book our rental car, getting upgrade to a minivan for only $80 more, so I'll be comfortable driving it as well.

The cost of changing flights WOULD have been over $400 per ticket, but since the airline had changed our original flight schedule, they changed us to a better and much more expensive outgoing flight for FREE!  YAY US!

Now searching for a hotel for two nights in Chester.

SO EXCITED!!  Did I say that already?

Live Traffic Feed

In case you weren't aware, I have a live traffic feed on my blog that keeps track of location and IP address of anyone reading my blog.

Feels as if I'm always playing the part of the martyr

Perhaps if given a chance to explain MY SIDE OF THE STORY, it wouldn't appear so.

We always need to hear both sides of the story

"Both Sides Of The Story"

'Though we might hate to admit it, there are always two sides to every story...' 

Find yourself in the gutter in a lonely part of town
where death waits in the darkness with a weapon to cut some stranger down
sleeping with an empty bottle, he's a sad and an empty hearted man
all he needs is a job, and a little respect, so he can get out while he can

We always need to hear both sides of the story

A neighbourhood peace is shattered it's the middle of the night
young faces hide in the shadows, while they watch their mother and father fight
he says she's been unfaithful, she says her love for him has gone
and the brother shrugs to his sister and says "looks like it's just us from now on"

We always need to hear both sides of the story

And the lights are all on, the world is watching now
people looking for truth, we must not fail them now
be sure, before we close our eyes
don't walk away from here
'til you hear both sides

Here we are all gathered in what seems to be the centre of the storm
neighbours once friendly now stand each side of the line that has been drawn
they've been fighting here for years, but now there's killing on the streets
while small coffins are lined up sadly, now united in defeat

We always need to hear both sides of the story

And the lights are all on, the world is watching now
people looking for truth, we must not fail them now
be sure, before we close our eyes
don't walk away from here
'til you see both sides

White man turns the corner, finds himself within a different world
ghetto kid grabs his shoulder, throws him up against the wall
he says "would you respect me if I didn't have this gun
'cos without it, I don't get it, and that's why I carry one"

We always need to hear both sides of the story

Tried my best

When someone tries their best and their best doesn't work, what else is there to do?

When someone plays by the rules and is still accused of breaking the rules, what else is there to do?

When someone takes all the classes, does all the training, reads all the books, watches all the training and still can't please anyone, what else is there to do?

When someone does everything humanly possible to get along with someone, to get along with their whole family, to take the best care of them and their family and is, in the end, looked at as the "bad one", what else is there to do?

When all someone wants to do is to help and their help is viewed as hindering, what else is there to do?

When all someone wants is to have a child of their own to love forever, and every forever falls through, what else is there to do?

When someone is NEVER given the benefit of the doubt, or even the option of defending themselves, what else is there to do?

Give up?

Almost 22 years

It's been almost 22 years now, on August 20, 1992, that my friend Jill Drenas was murdered.  She was 24 years old and had a four-year-old daughter, Tamara.

Jill and Charlie were going through a rough divorce.  Charlie had been abusive for years and Jill finally left him.  Charlie was not allowed to carry a firearm and was supposed to be escorted to pick up his daughter for visitation by a police officer.

That day, he was in Jill's apartment with his daughter watching on....and he shot Jill three times.  Jill jumped out of her second story window and he shot her two more times while she lay on the ground dying.  She didn't stand a chance.

It's been 22 years, and everyone involved still dreads the month of August.  We all try to keep Jill's memory alive as much as possible.  Her estranged husband is attempting to get out of prison now.  We all are hoping he stays in there forever.

http://www.nashuatelegraph.com/news/923488-196/pain-hasnt-healed-19-years-after-murder.html

Court

Just got off the telephone with my attorney.  I have a relatively big deal of a court hearing coming up on Friday.  Would LOVE some good mojo, prayers, crossing of fingers and toes, spectacular vibes sent my way.  Please and thank you.

Will update more when I know more!

edited to add:  Spoke with him once again, have more information for the court case now!

Mrs.

Because we don't have enough heartache going on in our lives right now......

We are discussing and keep delaying the inevitable.  We think it's time that Mrs.  be put to sleep.  She is 14 year old and has recently (or actually over the past year) lost control of her bowels.  Today she has pooped in the house three times and urinated once.  She's out of sorts.  Every time we bring her to the vet, they prescribe another antibiotic for her, thinking that's going to cure her.  They've done a million tests on her.  There's not a lot more that can be done.

It makes us sad that Mrs, AKA Nora, AKA "No Not Now" might be leaving us.  We've been in love with her for four years now.  She's our first failed foster.  We knew once we met her that we were going to keep her forever.  I can't imagine saying goodbye.

Hutchinson, Minnesota

Hello there Hutchinson MN resident!

Dr. Maya Angelou

"Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time." ~Dr. Maya Angelou
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
"You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them."
"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style."

"Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud."
"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.

"You are the sum total of everything you've ever seen, heard, eaten, smelled, been told, forgot - it's all there. Everything influences each of us, and because of that I try to make sure that my experiences are positive.

"One isn't necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.

"Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope." 

"Nothing can dim the light which shines from within."

In a perfect world

In a perfect world, the weather would be in the 70's and sunny year-round.
In the real world, we get to experience the change in seasons, which is okay too.

In a perfect world, I would never have had to experience cancer.
In the real world, I have learned a lot about myself and others and have met some extraordinary people. 

In a perfect world, the women who have children they don't want or have abortions to kill their babies, would just give their children up for adoption.
In the real world, Mark and I get to help some of those babies.  And that is amazing.

In a perfect world, Mark and I would have a seven-year-old boy, a six-year-old child and a two-year-old child.
In the real world, I got to experience pregnancy, which is something many women with PCOS don't have a chance to feel.  And we have memories.  And I have my life thanks to baby Angel.

In a perfect world, everyone would have a place to live and a person who loves them.
In the real world, I have a roof over my head and people who love me and I love the people in my life.  In the real world, we try to show others that they belong and they are loved.

In a perfect world, there would be no need for foster care, for humans or animals.
In the real world, we have been able to meet some of the most awesome humans and animals!  And the Three Stooges would only be one.  And how boring would life be for us and Barney?

In a perfect world, there would be a happily ever after.
In the real world, until we take our last breath, there is always a chance for a happily ever after.  

DREAM BIG