Siblings

In our family, we have his, hers and theirs.  But I've, for the most part, always considered them all my "real" brothers and sisters.

First in line is Rick.  Rick was born 10 years before me, to my Mom and her ex-husband.  Rick lived with us for much of my growing up.  Rick has always called me "Hank"....to this day I have no idea why?  My older sister Lisa is Maude.  And my little sister Kathy was "Dreamboat".  He went into the Army for a while and then to college at UVM.  Political Science major I believe.  I've always felt closest to Rick as a sibling.  He's been through a lot.  He lives now in PA with his wife Lori, who he met online.  They have a son named RJ, who has Down's Syndrome.  I have yet to meet Lori or RJ (or Lori's son from a previous relationship, Chris).  Rick inherited the lovely addiction to alcohol from not only his birth Dad but my Dad, his step-dad, as well.  He went into rehab a few years back (it was either that, or die).  He's been sober ever since.  Sobriety is a huge hurdle to overcome and I'm proud of him.

Second in line is Sue.  Sue was also born ten years before me, to my Dad and his ex-wife. Sue I have not seen since I was about 6 years old.  She was living with us up until her teen years and then moved back with her birth Mom.  I don't remember much about Sue.  I think she was an angry, violent person, from what I recall.  I don't know, but assume, that she has also suffered from addiction in her past.  I can't imagine her not, not when coming from this family.  We tried to find Sue when my Dad died but couldn't.

Third in line is Gayle.  She was born nine years before me, to my Mom and her ex-husband.  Gayle I haven't seen in quite a few years but have had contact with her via telephone and emails.  Gayle lives relatively close to my Mom in the city where I was born, Dunkirk, NY.  She was the contact when my Mom was hospitalized and in rehab/nursing home last year.  I think that Gayle lived with us as a family until I was maybe 8?  And then she moved back to her Father's home.  Gayle came back to live with us when for a year or so before our car accident.  I remember being very excited for her to come live with us....but then I got jealous and bitter.  I'm an attention seeker, and don't care for when others get more than I.

Fourth in line is Beth.  Beth was born nine years before me, to my Dad and his ex wife.  Beth lived with us until her teen years as well.  And then she went to live with her birth Mother.  Beth was, from what I remember, into drugs and drinking.  I smoked my first cigarette and pot and drank my first beer when my parents sent Lisa and I off to Beth's home after our car accident.  I was probably 12?  13?  All I remember is having to take a LONG Greyhound bus home the very next day and spending the entire time in the bathroom, puking my guts out.  Amazing that I continued to smoke and drink after that episode!  Beth was contacted when our Dad died. but she didn't much care.

It was at that point, when my Dad died and his three children from a previous marriage really didn't acknowledge his death, that my Mother told me I only had four siblings, not seven.

Fifth would be Jim.  I believe he is seven years older than I?  He is my Father's son from his first marriage.  Jim lived with us up until a little before the car accident.  When the car accident happened, Jim and Rick both made it home to be with us.  That I will always remember.  Jim called me "kiddo", even as an adult.  From what I understand, although I haven't seen him since the car accident, Jim became an alcoholic, following in the lines of his and my Father.  I called him when Dad died, he was nice to talk to.  That was 20 years ago and I haven't heard from him since.

Sixth is Lisa.  She is my "real" sister.  She was born two years before me.  Lisa and I have had a....different....relationship.  I always felt that, growing up, I could count on her when my Father went into his drunken rages.  At one point, we rigged a little can/pully outside our bedroom windows, because we were sent to bed without dinner so often, and my parents listened for footsteps.  So our thought was that we pass food to each other when necessary.  Not sure we ever used it?  I remember when Kathy died, Lisa let me sleep in her room with her because I was scared to be in the same room that Kathy and I had shared.  I remember always being scared of the dark and many times, Lisa would get up with me in the night and go to the bathroom with me.  And then, as adults, our friendship stopped.  Lisa started smoking pot a LOT.  She left her husband and her daughter to live with someone new....but didn't bother to tell either of them that she was leaving.  I miss being friends with Lisa, and hope that we can repair the damage before it's too late.

I was the seventh child.

Eighth and final was Kathy Jo.  Kathy was also my "real" sister.  Kathy Jo was smart.  And cute.  And the favorite.  She died at age eight when Lisa and I and Kathy Jo were hit by a car while we waited for the school bus.  It's been almost 34 years now, and I still can see that car coming at us.  I can still remember my Mom and Dad telling Lisa and I, while we were in Springfield Hospital, that Kathy had died.  I wonder what she would be like today.  How life would be different today.

I am going to attempt to name all my nieces and nephews from all these siblings.  I'm sorry if some of them escape me.  Most I have only met a few times, some not at all.

Rick has RJ and Chris
Sue had no children
Beth has Melinda Jean and Christopher
Gayle had Fallon
Jim has James
Lisa had Dylan, has Leanna and Ben.